5. Children’s stories and personal information

Some of the children we spoke to said that they recognised the necessity of recording and sharing information about them and their lives. Having a record of the events that took place in their earlier lives helped them understand more about their history:

“There were things on my ICM that I didn’t know about from when I was younger. I think it’s good to have a record of everything so when you read it you can understand why some things happened.” – Young person from Inside Out

“On the positive side, this did help me understand why something has happened to me…why I was in care. I just blamed social work for taking me away until I discovered about my past.” – Poppy, OHOV

Some young people wanted the adults in their lives to be aware of certain information about their history in order to be better supported: 

“Sometimes it is important to know things that have happened in the past – for example, things that could trigger someone – so it can be important that they (the adults) know.” – Ryden, Experts by Experience. 

“I wish more of my teachers knew a bit about my background so I could get help when things are too much for me. There are some subjects they talk about in school, like drugs, which are triggering for me.” – Daisy, Perth Champs

 

“I’d like adults to work together really closely…this helps to give a context to my support and prevents people making assumptions about me!” – Jason, St Mary’s Kenmure

“I like people to know that I’m active so it can continue.” – Young person from Rossie

“Information about you should be kept for long as it is relevant. It can be helpful for your throughcare supports.” – Young person from Shetland Crew

“You might need to know certain information about our lives. We discussed this as a board and some people felt fine with this as it helped them feel supported. On the other hand, some of us felt really uncomfortable with staff knowing details about our personal lives. Sometimes it’s unavoidable that you’ll have access to personal details about our home life. If you need to know this information, it’s so you can understand us and support us.” – Andrew, OHOV

We spoke to several young people at St Mary’s Kenmure. All the young people had a focus on who gets to find out personal things about them and seemed unanimous in wishing to know who has this knowledge. Several young people spoke about the importance of inputting their own personal experience and views on events into the information and paperwork adults receive about them. This can be done by talking to them individually about their lives and getting to know them. They spoke about staff being able to ‘piece together a story about you- what you make of your story but also why you feel the way you do’. The importance of this process being transparent and shared with young people was mentioned.

While historical accounts of children and young people’s earlier lives can be helpful, both in aiding young people’s understanding of their past and allowing adults to have a fuller picture of their background for the purposes of tailoring support, some children and young people were unhappy that ‘negative’ past behaviour was recorded. They didn’t want a reminder of things they had done in the past that were no longer relevant, and made them feel stigmatised and judged.

As stated in Grainne’s quote It’s important to consider children and young people’s behaviour in context. All behaviour is communication, and what adults might deem negative behaviour is usually an outward expression of a need that is not being met:

“I got to school late because I had a lot going on at home. My teacher thought I wasn’t bothered but I felt really stressed. A sit down and a private chat would have really helped.” – Ash, OHOV

“I don’t like men teachers. I’ve had bad experiences with men before and so has my mum. I had a male teacher and that made me really nervous. I deliberately wound him up. I made fun of his hair. He didn’t care. I was getting bullied by lots of males in my life, but he was safe to do that to.” – Snowy, Falkirk Champs

“My attendance at school had dropped and staff thought I just couldn’t be bothered. There was no routine at home as we were struggling. I needed support and wish the adults had just communicated with each other.” – OHOV board member
“I might be looking at my phone while talking to someone and they might think it’s rude, ignorant. It means I’m struggling with eye contact, I’m busy but still want to listen.” – Danny, Youth Just Us
“When I’m in a new environment I look like I’m not listening, and I sometimes refuse to do work. People think I’m rude and deliberately being challenging but I find it stressful and tiring being in a new environment. I need support.” – OHOV board member
“I can be a bit cheeky when I’m upset.” – Poppy, OHOV
“I play the drums when I’m upset. People might think I’m annoyed and just making a noise, but when I play the drums, it blocks out everything and anything. What would be helpful in that situation is to just be left alone”. – K, Falkirk Champs
“Just understand that I’m scared.” – Young person from Rossie 

We asked children and young people how they would like adults to respond to them when managing ‘withdrawing’ or ‘challenging’ behaviour. It is important not to label children in these instances, as this only serves to compound feelings of stigma and judgement. Instead, get to know the child and tailor your approach to support them in ways that are most helpful to them; adapt to meet their needs and maintain positive, supportive relationships with them:

“Children and young people communicate their feelings through behaviour. It’s unhelpful to see that behaviour and label us as lazy, disruptive, aggressive, disengaged, and so on.” – Andrew, OHOV

“Don’t put us down, pull us up.” – Achilles, OHOV

“Try not to take anything personally if a child is showing behaviour that you find challenging. Be aware of how close you’re standing and the volume and tone of your voice. Confrontational approaches to challenging behaviour can be traumatising.” – Abbie G, OHOV

“When I’m upset, I go out in the rain and sit down on a towel, which I know sounds a bit strange. It helps me feel better though. The staff at my children’s house understand and they allow me to do it.” – K, Falkirk

OHOV board member Lisa gave several examples of times adults had noticed a change in her behaviour, recognised that the change communicated an unmet need, and made time to listen to her:

“In a care experienced group my support worker noticed that I just wasn’t interacting or, like, making jokes because that’s all I usually do. And then during Easter we were making eggs to roll down the hill and during one of the rolls, she like, pulled me to the side and asked was I OK? Not forcing me to join in or anything but asked what was going on. It got me thinking, because to me nothing was wrong, but if someone asks what was wrong, it can make you think. And then just from there, she kept, like, an eye on me.”

“In school I was misbehaving a bit. My teacher just kind of, like, thought there was something wrong because it wasn’t like me to misbehave and she kind of took me to the side, like, same again, not forcing me into telling her if there was anything wrong. I didn’t tell any of the other teachers or my social worker.”

You can read more about positive relationships in the ‘Relationships with Key Adults’ section of the guide.

You can read more about stigma and labelling behaviour in the ‘Language’ section of the guide.

As well as ensuring that information recorded and shared is relevant, children and young people ask that gathering and sharing information is done proportionately; capturing only what is necessary and shared only with those who need the information in order to provide support: 

“Many of us value our privacy and only want those whom we trust to be told the details of our lives. Some of the young people on the OHOV board were ok with certain trusted staff knowing about our lives.” – Andrew, OHOV

“Information shouldn’t be shared if it’s not relevant due to the adult’s role or the timeframe since the incident…it also has to be accurate.” – Ryden, Experts by Experience. 

“Adults should only have the information that is needed. A teacher doesn’t need my medical information.” – Rhiannon, Shetland Crew

“My depute came to my hearing and found out all my personal information. That made me really uncomfortable.” – Courtney, OHOV

“Information should only be shared with other adults if it needs to be. It depends what it is. The context and the need are key to that answer.” – Young person from Shetland Crew

“Do staff in education need to know what I do in the evening?” – Young person from Rossie

“If you take into account what people know about me, half of that is not relevant to other services but they still find out.” – Jason, Shetland Crew

“If it is really significant, maybe the bare minimum of what happened – but not all of the details – they need to know something happened, but they are not the police and they don’t need to know everything.” – Gemma, Experts by Experience 

“On an island, everyone knows your business.” – Rochelle, Shetland Crew

“It makes you angry. Only certain people should be given access to your records. Sharing has to be purposeful.” – Grainne, Experts by Experience

“If I found out that someone knew personal details of my life, I’d feel embarrassed and uncomfortable, like I want to die. Petrified. I don’t want other people knowing my private business. I don’t even know these random people, they shouldn’t know my personal history.” – L, Falkirk Champs 

“You get used to it but it’s annoying. It’s important that I get to share what is important to me” -Rhiannon, Shetland Crew

“Any information that is classified, should not be shared. Any information that the young person doesn’t want shared, shouldn’t be shared.” – Rebecca, Experts by Experience

Rebecca and Rhiannon’s quotes above highlight the importance of consent. Many young people said that wherever possible, children should be asked for consent before personal information about them is shared:

“It should be up to the person that information is about, and they should at least be asked.” – Rhiannon, Shetland Crew

“Information should be shared on a need-to-know basis, with it being explained to the young person before it’s shared so they can object, directly consent, or share opinions. This will also help empower the young person.” – Ryden, Experts by Experience

“If information is passed on, it should have a context and input from me. I should be the first to see the reports and get a chance to change the story or report if it’s not accurate.” – Jason, St Mary’s Kenmure

“When information is shared without my consent it can be very degrading and hurtful, especially if you were judged. It can make a person very doubtful due to trust.” – Rebecca, Experts by Experience

“If a worker is leaving, I’d like them to take the time to tell me in advance, talk to me about how I feel, and ask for my consent to share details of my life with the next worker.” – Ash, OHOV

“I think the majority of all my whole life I’ve always had staff workers be quite consentful; they’ve been quite open and honest. They’ve explained to me, kind of, the way it works, like, what was expected of me, what the rights are in it all. Do you know that kind of stuff? I think I’ve always had that transparency quite luckily.” – Renee, National Leadership Network

As previously stated, before sharing information about children and young people, it’s helpful to carefully consider how much information should be shared and with whom. Without purpose, information sharing can be construed as gossip:

“At the residential I am at it’s like you tell one adult something and they tell everyone.” – Amelia, Experts by Experience

“If teachers are given sensitive information about our circumstances, we would want them to treat this information as if it was their own, and resist the temptation to share it with colleagues. Our lives should never be staffroom gossip.” – Andrew, OHOV

“The residential workers gossip about me. They all share it.” – Amelia, Experts by Experience

“I don’t like feeling like I’m being spoken about.” – Young person from Rossie

Children’s privacy must be balanced against the risk of harm. It isn’t always possible to give children a choice over whether information is shared. The young people we spoke to asked that in such cases the child is at least informed before the information is passed on:

“It makes a difference when professionals ask a young person if it’s ok to share their information rather than just doing it. If that’s not possible, at least inform the child that it’s going to happen and explain why.” – Neil, OHOV