3. Language

Children and families who come into contact with the care system and Children’s Hearings System do so because of welfare needs (a vast majority of cases) or because they have come into contact with the law. These children and families are navigating difficulties in their lives and require support. We believe that reports, letters and discussions with children and their families should reflect the strengths and positives in children’s lives, ensuring they are balanced against any challenges and risks:

“If we change language, we can change the way children and young people feel and act in their lives. If you just hear how much trouble you are, how badly behaved, how much of a nuisance you are, it makes you feel worse about yourself and you start believing it. You also dread going to Hearings as you know you’re just going to be criticised the entire time. Negative language can make a Hearing an incredibly hostile environment and further perpetuate the feeling that it’s ‘us vs them’ when it’s not. If you hear positive things like how hard you’re trying, you’ll realise you’re being recognised for the difficult time you’re going through, and you’ll believe in yourself more.” – Achilles, Language Leaders

“Language is so important, especially when you’re in care. It’s a period of your life when so much is happening, and the only way to keep track of what’s going on is through paperwork. So, if the language in paperwork is constantly negative about you and your family it’s going to make you feel worse, especially as a child. You think, ‘if everyone else is thinking that then maybe I should be thinking that too.’” – Helene, Language Leaders

 Children and their families can feel judged and blamed when all they hear is a barrage of criticism. When discussions aren’t balanced, they risk becoming adversarial rather than inquisitorial. It can be particularly disheartening when historic and irrelevant issues are brought up after they have been overcome: 

“When writing reports, include only information that is relevant. Avoid being judgemental and try to look at the bigger picture. There are wider issues going on for care experienced young people; like difficulties with housing and the cliff edge of support and care that we have to deal with.” – Lisa, OHOV

 “I was ‘put on a pedestal’. This was a bad thing. I didn’t feel able to get support due to people’s expectations of me.” – Jamie, OHOV board member

It is important that the language we use clearly describes the risks children face, the acute needs they have, and the supports required. The young people in Language Leaders state the importance of balance, and warn against professionals using overly positive ‘flowery language’:

We ask professionals to take the time to recognise children’s progress and achievements, as these are just as important as the risks and challenges:

“I’ve been told some positive things in hearings before; they’ve talked about how much I’ve matured and grown up and that made me feel quite good about myself and how far I’ve come. When people use the right language it can make a positive difference to me, like being recognised for your efforts.” – Lewis, OHOV

As previously stated, it’s important to get the balance right between recognising and addressing the challenges in a child’s life and celebrating the strengths and positives. Just as an overly critical approach can put blame on children and their families, excessive praise and positivity can lead to children struggling with the pressure of unrealistic expectations:

“I was ‘put on a pedestal’. This was a bad thing. I didn’t feel able to get support due to people’s expectations of me.” – Jamie, OHOV board member

It is important that the language we use clearly describes the risks children face, the acute needs they have, and the supports required. The young people in Language Leaders state the importance of balance, and warn against professionals using overly positive ‘flowery language’:

“Clearer language doesn’t need to be flowery. It just needs clarity about why you are there.” – Ciara

For Ciara, it was important that the language was clearer and kinder but still needs to be balanced against the difficult things that are happening, including the risks for the child. Another young person agreed:

“I’m on the same page, making it clear and understandable for a young person is important but also making it so they can understand the level of the situation and not make it seem like something it’s not, is equally important.” – Language Leaders board member

Only language which is non-stigmatising and protects children from blame or distress should be used. Stigmatising language is language that labels children and perpetuates harmful messages about them. The media portrays children in the care system as neglected, vulnerable, and abused. Older children tend to be viewed as difficult, rebellious, and aggressive. 

“The media often portrays us as victims, needing protection from abusive or irresponsible parents. They see us as a product of a broken care system. You only have to look at programmes like Tracy Beaker or read some of the sensationalist newspaper headlines about children in care. We ask professionals to think about the way they speak about us and our families. Avoid sweeping generalisations and stereotypes that add to the stigma we already face.” – Andrew, OHOV 

One of the ways we can counter stigma is to describe situations and behaviours in factual, not subjective terms:

“Don’t judge or label children. Calling behaviour annoying, rude, or aggressive is just your take on the behaviour. Describe exactly what the behaviour was: instead of ‘Jamie was angry and became violent, so he took it out on his friend and started a fight with him for no reason’, say ‘Jamie approached his friend and pushed him’. Stick to the facts, don’t label children or their behaviour. It’s really stigmatising”. – Abbie G, OHOV

What a child reads or hears about themselves can stick with them for a lifetime. It may be a throwaway comment or a single sentence in a report, but children hear these descriptions of themselves and can internalise them:

“The language in my hearings was very stigmatising. The way some things were said was in a way that put me down rather than built me up. For example, the term mentally ill was used to describe my struggles when I was only ten.” – A, OHOV board member

The effects of stigma can follow children for a long time, possibly even for life. It can shape the way children see themselves, and the way they are regarded by others:

“I see stigma as this gooey, fluid creature: something that follows a young person around, like a shadow. There’s a weight to them; carrying stigma weighs us down and most of all, it sticks. All the language surrounding a young person will feed the stigma monster.” – Ciara, Language Leaders

“Children don’t need a paper trail of judgements following them. If a teacher gets a pupil in her class and has been prewarned that he’s ‘difficult’ or ‘a nightmare’ she’ll inevitably see that behaviour in him because she’s expecting it. This is called confirmation bias.” – Andrew, OHOV